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I get a lot of emails everyday and to be honest with you sometimes they provide a well needed comedic break in my day. I often read emails and think "Oh my God, I can't believe someone actually wrote this to me!" I thought it would be nice to share four things you should never write in an email and why. These are in no particular order with regards to comedic value.

1-I need your help, please! What does your company do?

Let me break this down for you because there is so much wrong with this statement. First of all you're emailing ME and you don't even know why! You are flat out telling me you have no idea who I am or what my company does. This just tells me you did a google search and spammed as many companies as you could with the same email. I've responded to emails like this with "How may I help you?" and I get responses like, "I don't know what do you do?" Just makes you cringe, doesn't it?

2-My music is the best thing you've ever heard!

Are you smiling yet? Does this look familiar to you. I know I've used statements like this but it was 20 years ago when I was pretty ignorant to the business. You never ever tell someone how great you think you are. Be humble and let them form an opinion. 99% of the music attached to emails like this is pretty bad.

3-I have something that is better than anything you've ever worked on before.

My first thought is: awesome, another one! My second thought is usually laughter. Even if this is true, why would you basically tell who you're emailing that everything they've done up to meeting you is crap? This is basically what you're saying. Again, be humble, let people form their own opinions, good or bad, and be easy going. No one likes a pit bull in their face.

4-Yo i gots some jams u gots ta here.

Don't send an email like you're texting a friend. I get it, I txt all the time and I abbreviate things so they look like a foreign language. You should not do this in an email to anyone you do not know. It's not cool, not at all. It screams "lazy and stupid!" Even if you're not, this is what poor grammar says about you.

By:James


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